Cards Against Humanity (and Robots)
by mystery8icarus
Summary: What happens when you place 4 Wilybots and 4 Lightbots in the same room with a rather infamous card game? Hilarity of course. As well as insanity. Rated M because of how Cards Against Humanity is.


**Prologue**

"I can't believe this is happening."

Said irate statement was spoken by DLN-008, the one and only Elec Man. He glanced around the small and dirty shed he was in, growing more annoyed. Another voice spoke up.

"Aw come on bro, it ain't half bad!" Oil Man said, trying to be positive. "Besides, things could've been worse."

Elec scowled. "Oh of course, like how we could have been kidnapped by Wilybots from work and then dumped into a shed for who knows how long? Oh wait, that actually happened!" He snapped. Someone else sighed.

"Relax, Elec. Technically, we haven't been 'kidnapped'. If we were, we would've been reprogrammed at this point." Fire Man pointed out softly in his southern accent. Oil nodded.

"Yeah! Plus, Fire and I actually WANT to do this. You're just being a downer."

"I am NOT a downer, I'm just concerned over being taken by Wilybots!"

"Look, if it helps, I told them to take you. I thought you would need a chance to relax with some friends."

"What?! First off, no Oil, that does NOT help! And secondly, they are NOT my friends! How do we not know if this is a TRAP?!" Elec groaned, pinching his brow. "I can't imagine how this could get any worse."

Suddenly the shed door opened, and a familiar Blue Bomber was thrown in, landing by the three. The door was quickly closed shut, with a shout from outside saying to wait a few more minutes. Oil groaned.

"Man, how long does it take to make sure the coast is clear?..." He muttered. Meanwhile, Elec was interrogating the one and only Rock Light. "Rock! What are you doing here? Are you alright?" He questioned the young robot.

Rock shook his head as if to clear it, as well to respond no. "I'm fine, Elec. I actually wanted to ask you that." He looked at the other two. "Are you guys alright?" He asked.

Fire's eyes smiled while Oil gave a thumbs up. "We're fine, Rock. No need ta worry over us." Fire answered reassuringly. Elec frowned. "Rock, how exactly did you end up here?" He asked. Rock blinked, before recalling the series of events that led him here.

"Well..."

* * *

Rock was walking outside. He had been forced to thanks to Roll and Dr Light, who had suggested he take a day off for once.

It was starting to become a beautiful day, and he smiled as he looked around, enjoying the atmosphere. "It really is nice out today..." He said softly.

A strong breeze suddenly blew by him. "Meh, seems just like a regular day to me." A familiar voice suddenly spoke.

Rock froze for a moment, before quickly transforming into his armor and summoning his Buster, aiming it at the new person. "Quick Man?!" He yelled, looking surprised.

The red speedster grinned, looking totally unperturbed by the Buster. He was resting against a tree, although he was tapping his foot slightly. "Hello Boy Wonder. Fancy seeing you here."

"What are you doing here?! Are you here to fight?" Rock asked, not at all relaxed by his presence. He was concerned over the fact that they were still pretty close to the Light residence. _Maybe I can lure him away..._

However, to his surprise, Quick laughed, holding up his hands in peace. "Relax! I'm not here to fight. I just wanted to ask you something." He said, looking amused at Rock's wariness and now confusion.

"You...do? What would that be?" Rock asked, lowering his Buster slightly. Quick smiled innocently.

"Do you want to play a game with a couple of my brothers and I?"

"...what?" Now Rock was REALLY confused. Quick rolled his eyes, foot tapping impatiently. "I SAID, do you want to play a game with us?" He asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

Rock frowned, now dismissing his Buster completely. "I...uh, sure? I just...why would you ask me?" He questioned the speed robot.

Quick stretched his arms as he answered. "Well, we're all kind of bored, and most of our OTHER family members are either MIA, or working to get Wily out of jail again, or are just not interested." He then grinned. "Besides! We already got some other Lightbots to volunteer! Even if it wasn't exactly willingly..." He mumbled the last part.

He faced Rock. "We still wanted one more player though. So I figured, why not? Let's ask good ol' Mega Man! Worth a shot, no pun intended. Plus, I'm curious to see how well you'd do. And hey, maybe it'd be cool to just hang out without fighting you know? So, what do you say?" He looked at Rock, curious for his answer.

Rock blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected a Wilybot, or just Quick for that matter, to not want to fight him and instead invite him to a game. _It could be a trap_ , his mind stated, but he looked at Quick again. _He seems genuine though...wait, didn't he mention he got some other Lightbots to join? If that's true, I should probably be there to make sure they're ok. Plus it's not like I have anything better to do..._

"So what's your answer, blueberry? I don't got all day." Quick stated, looking impatient again. Rock frowned at the nickname, but brushed it off and said, "I think I'll accept your offer, Quick."

At that, Quick grinned happily. "Awesome! You won't regret it boy wonder! Now then...time for step 2."

Rock blinked, confused. "Step 2-" He was cut off by Quick Man suddenly running forward, slinging him over his shoulder, and then suddenly running off. Rock yelped, forced to hang on. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Getting us to where we need to go!"

"WE COULD HAVE TELEPORTED!"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME!"

"Nah, too slow."

"QUICK MAN IF THIS IS A TRAP I AM GOING TO-"

"It's not a trap, blueberry! Now calm down and let me focus on running!"

Rock groaned. He really hoped he wouldn't regret this.

* * *

"...and so that's how I ended up here." Rock finished, smiling sheepishly at the other Lightbots with him.

Elec pinched his brow in annoyance. "So you're telling me you just LET him take you? Rock, you can't do that! I mean, it's definitely something if I get kidnapped, but it's something else if YOU are! And with consent too! I don't know if that's worse or not." He groaned.

Fire's sigh could be heard. "I thin' you need ta calm down, Elec. I told ya, we're not prisoners." Fire spoke, the flame on his head burning brightly and gently.

"Hmph! Easy for you to say! You weren't carted off without your permission! I still can't believe you agreed to do this too." Elec said, narrowing his eyes at the fire robot. He then glared at the one standing beside him. "And you! You actually CONVINCED them to kidnap me!"

Said Robot Master rolled his eyes. "Yeah bro, because you honestly need to take a chill pill and playing a game with friends does that." Oil stated, crossing his arms.

"They're not FRIENDS." Elec hissed. Oil's eyes turned annoyed. He stood up, glaring at Elec.

"Maybe not to you, but to me they're pretty alright! Sure, we got different creators and all, and yeah sometimes Mega Man's had to fight them-" Oil gestured to Rock-"but when there's no fighting going on, and that old guy ain't around...they're actually pretty cool."

Fire spoke up. "Look Elec, I know you're worried. Ya've only seen 'em when we fight 'em, never o'erwise. But if Oil trusts 'em, then I'll trust his judgement and give 'em a chance. Just cause our creators don't get along don't mean we can't either."

Elec hesitated, still a bit conflicted. Oil sighed.

"If you really don't want to do this Elec, fine. The door's unlocked. You could just go if you wanna go." Oil said, gesturing to the door with his arm cannon. "No one's stoppin' ya."

Elec stiffened, and Rock decided at that moment to put in his view. "Elec...I think you should stay. Yeah, it IS really weird for us to do this with Wilybots of all people but...it's good to give others a chance, especially when they're putting in the effort. So, what do you say?" He looked at Elec.

Elec looked around, and then sighed. "...alright. I'll stay. But should one of them even make the SLIGHTEST hint of attacking, I will-"

"-will do what?"

Everyone turned their heads to meet the grinning red and gold Robot Master standing in the shed entrance. Elec scowled, crossing his arms. "I'll do what is necessary. I still don't trust you after all." he informed Quick.

Quick just rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say princess. So! Time to get moving people, coast is clear!" He said, grinning again. Oil stood up, cheering.

"YES! Geez Quick, why the hell did it take so long?" He asked. Quick groaned. "Flash did NOT want to return to his station. I think he knew we were up to something. It took forever to convince him, but we finally got him to leave." He shook his head in annoyance. Rock frowned.

"Wait, so not all the Wilybots are gonna be in this? Whatever it is?" He questioned. Quick smirked at him. "Nope! A lot of them still don't like you, blueberry, or Lightbots for that matter."

He looked at Elec and smirked again. "Hence, why we had you hide in the shed. Gotta make sure everyone who SHOULDN'T know you're here ISN'T here. Now, we can just focus on having fun." He took a few steps back. "So come on! What are you waiting for? We don't have all day!"

Oil's eyes crinkled as if he were grinning, stepping outside immediately. Elec frowned, but followed him. Rock blinked, as he walked out with Fire. He turned toward him as they all followed Quick. "Um, Fire? Do you know exactly what game we'll be playing?"

Fire glanced at him. "Ya don't know Rock? Huh, this'll be interestin'...I believe it's called Cards Against Humanity."

* * *

 **A/N: Hello people! So this is the prologue. I wanted to add a bit of background to how exactly this was set up. I was inspired by another fic using Cards against Humanity, only it was set in the RWBY universe.**

 **So I decided to try my spin on it! I've already decided the players, and I'll be arranging the cards by labeling them with numbers and then using a random number generator. Hopefully this works out, and hope you guys enjoy. :)**


End file.
